I'm still struggling with depression over many things and staying in bed alot. However I have started going to my kung fu class again and eating slightly better, so I feel like I'm slowly climbing out of the pit. The main title of my blog is a bit misleading as there are very few crazy things happening in my life at the moment! At some point I will try and put down some of the interesting experiences I have had within the mental health system and elsewhere, but not today because I just don't feel up to it.
I hope everyone outhere is feeling o.k. but if not I hope you feel better soon. I have ordered a lap-top from the internet so I should be able to blog more often. At the moment I am dependent on my good friend Gary, who kindly lets me use his computer.
I'm very worried about my mum at the moment; she has progressive myopia and has been told that her condition is deteriorating. I can't imagine what she must be going through, as I know she is terrified of the possibility that she may be going blind. I feel really powerless to help her and its a nasty feeling! Anyway that's enough good news for one blog! Take care everyone and I look forward to blogging again soon on my new computer!
Simon
Wednesday, 30 May 2007
Wednesday, 2 May 2007
I'm Back
Hi everyone. Sorry i haven't posted for so long but i've been spending a bit too much time in bed lately and have been really lazy and unmotivated. I still feel quite depressed but nowhere as bad as i have been in the past so that's something to be glad of i suppose. I hope everyone is doing o.k. and things are going pretty well. I will be checking out some other peoples' blogs and posting a few comments soon so watch this space.
Nothing major has happened in the few weeks since my last blog apart from me starting to assist co-ordinating at some meetings run by "Changes" which is a mental health charity for anyone who doesn't know. There are many more things i would like to do if only i could get off my backside and stop being so lazy and negative about everything. Trouble is i do experience alot of low moods and feel so unmotivated that i keep slipping back into old bad habits and unhelpful behaviour. I'll keep on trying though because one thing is, despite many failures, i'm not a quitter, and my friends and family help me to keep on going even when everything keeps going tits-up.
There is also a good support network for me consisting of the mental health services and Brighter Futures with whom i am housed (a BRILLIANT organisation) plus Phoenix and Brunswick House for when things are getting too much; so i am very lucky really as many people do not have such resources or support to draw on and my admiration goes out to them for coping as well as they do. I've been feeling very lonely lately, and spending alot of time thinking about my life with my ex-partner of 9yrs that i split-up with over 4 yrs ago which i know isn't healthy but is nearly always in the background. I have many regrets about the way i've lived my life and the way things have turned out, but i guess we all have, and by doing this self-torture i am not only causing myself emotional pain i am also preventing myself from moving forward. I feel so afraid of messing-up my life again that i keep holding myself back from taking any chances incase things go wrong and this is why i feel so unhappy because i feel trapped and stagnant.
Please post me some encouragement because i could really do with a lift at the moment and it makes a real difference to know people out there are actually reading my stuff and taking the time to respond.
Take it easy everyone and i hope to hear from you soon (or should that be 'read from you soon'?
Love and best wishes to you all,
Simon
Nothing major has happened in the few weeks since my last blog apart from me starting to assist co-ordinating at some meetings run by "Changes" which is a mental health charity for anyone who doesn't know. There are many more things i would like to do if only i could get off my backside and stop being so lazy and negative about everything. Trouble is i do experience alot of low moods and feel so unmotivated that i keep slipping back into old bad habits and unhelpful behaviour. I'll keep on trying though because one thing is, despite many failures, i'm not a quitter, and my friends and family help me to keep on going even when everything keeps going tits-up.
There is also a good support network for me consisting of the mental health services and Brighter Futures with whom i am housed (a BRILLIANT organisation) plus Phoenix and Brunswick House for when things are getting too much; so i am very lucky really as many people do not have such resources or support to draw on and my admiration goes out to them for coping as well as they do. I've been feeling very lonely lately, and spending alot of time thinking about my life with my ex-partner of 9yrs that i split-up with over 4 yrs ago which i know isn't healthy but is nearly always in the background. I have many regrets about the way i've lived my life and the way things have turned out, but i guess we all have, and by doing this self-torture i am not only causing myself emotional pain i am also preventing myself from moving forward. I feel so afraid of messing-up my life again that i keep holding myself back from taking any chances incase things go wrong and this is why i feel so unhappy because i feel trapped and stagnant.
Please post me some encouragement because i could really do with a lift at the moment and it makes a real difference to know people out there are actually reading my stuff and taking the time to respond.
Take it easy everyone and i hope to hear from you soon (or should that be 'read from you soon'?
Love and best wishes to you all,
Simon
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